Preview: Lilliana Seaworth

10-23-14_10-08 PM-3

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Traits: Alluring (from aspiration), Outgoing (from Morrigan), Active

Career: Undecided

That’s right, we’ve got another woohoo addict! ^^ The first step of her aspiration involves kissing twenty (twenty!!!) people for the first time, so this is off to a good start 😛 I haven’t decided on a career for her yet, but was wondering about something active. I can’t remember if there’s a sports career in the game a the moment, I’ll double check later ^^

1.14

10-17-14_9-26 PM

I had begun work on my final, most important book. “The Mermaid Sisters of Oasis Springs” was completely fictional – as far as everyone else was concerned. Me and Milan knew the truth, and I was very excited to see it hit the shelves and people’s reactions to it. Writing it felt right, and for the first time since I had decided to become a writer I knew that I was doing the idea in my head justice.

10-17-14_9-13 PM

10-17-14_9-14 PM

However, just like with every other book I had written to date I needed breaks every now and again. Lilliana had a lot of energy, so on my days off I took her to the park where she loved playing and even made some new friends. I wasn’t happy with her talking to just about everyone, but I explained the dangers to her and believed that she understood what I was trying to tell her. She had a lot of fun playing away from home for a change, and I enjoyed being outside. With all the stress from work I hadn’t considered it so far, but now I was wondering if it might be worth investing in a garden. I had a large financial safety net tucked away and knew that we could afford it easily, as well as re-decorate the house and Lilliana’s room once she was a teenager. Which was still a few years away, for which I was very grateful. She was growing up too quickly as it was.

10-22-14_10-58 AM

My little girl was doing well at school. She wasn’t an A* pupil and often needed reminding that she still had her homework to do, but she wasn’t doing badly and had earned a very proud B thanks to all her work. I knew if she didn’t love chatting with her friends and playing around on her monkey bars as much as she did she could easily have gotten an A, but I was also happy to see her get on well with the other kids in her class and to see her apply herself this much to a hobby. I knew that some of the other parents weren’t satisfied until their children were top of the class, but I was happy for Lilliana to be a child and have fun while she could.

10-22-14_10-59 AM

I had explained to her why she didn’t have a daddy, like most of the other kids in her year. I hadn’t told her everything – she was too young to be told that the fate of the universe depended on her – but I had told her that her Daddy didn’t know about her, and that I had thought it best to let him move on to Monte Vista with his wife. That I had wanted to tell him but that I had felt that it would have been unfair to tell him something that would undoubtedly have made him stay, when he seemed so happy with the direction his life had taken. Lilliana had nodded, saying that she understood but I wasn’t sure how happy she really was with my explanation. She never asked me whether she could meet him, or whether I could try calling him for her. She simply seemed happy to know why she hadn’t met him, and why he wasn’t living with us now.

10-22-14_11-10 AM-2

The day I sent my final book off to my publisher I felt… strange. Like I was watching my every movement through someone else’s eyes. To finally have written it and to be sending it off seemed unreal to me. I had worked my whole life for this, and now, finally, I had achieved everything I had ever wanted. Nearly, anyway. I did still want to be at the very peak of my career, and I knew that I wasn’t far off, but to have come this far felt amazing nonetheless.

I felt old. A lot had happened since I had left my parents’ houseboat and had made the long journey here! I had written a book of incredible importance to myself, I had a daughter who was bright and clever and who was going to grow into a beautiful young woman. I hadn’t known love as most other people knew it, but I had a child who I had a very good relationship with. In a way, I had known love better than some other people knew it, even though I wasn’t married. I had liked Malcolm, and maybe I could have fallen in love with him if Milan hadn’t interfered when he had. I had been angry at the time, but now I was glad that he had done it when he had done it. If I had actually fallen in love with Malcolm… Everything would have been so much more difficult.

And then one day Milan paid me a visit with unexpected news.

10-22-14_11-35 PM-2

He explained it all so well. Like it was everyday, common information, and I supposed that to him – to someone who had studied what he had studied for this long – it really was.

10-22-14_11-36 PM-2

“It has enjoyed watching you, Morrigan. Trust me, they don’t offer something like this easily, to anyone! This is a rare opportunity!”

I had no idea what to say. I was still partly bewildered by how easily I believed him! “But what about you? Shouldn’t you be the one the spirit offers this to?”

“I’ll already live for as long as the spirit wants to keep me as a host. You won’t. I know you’re unsure about this, but please think about it. You could watch Lilliana fuflill her destiny, and her child do the same. And your great-grandchild.” He made it sound so easy. Was it? What he was offering me… A potion that would allow me to live forever. A potion that would set my age to the very beginning of being an adult. Surely this was a dream come true?

“I don’t know, Milan. Do we have the right to accept something like this?” If my simple existence was a danger, how would immortality compare?

“As I said, they don’t offer this option lightly to anyone. The spirit inhabiting me may sees this as mere entertainment, but there are others who know what this means for the future. They know what you have made possible. This is their way of rewarding you.”

“Will Lilliana…?” My unfinished question hang heavily in the air. The look which entered his face told me all I had to know before he said the words out loud.

“No. I’m sorry, but again, this is a rare opportunity. If they gave every future child born into your family the same potion we would have a lot of immortal people walking the earth. The universe won’t overlook an insult as big as this.” I nodded, understanding what he meant.

10-22-14_11-38 PM-2

“I’ll think about it.” I didn’t tell him that at the moment, my answer was no.

10-22-14_11-56 PM

I also didn’t tell him that I was very tempted to accept every time I held my baby in my arms. One day she would die, and I hoped with all my heart that it would be because of old age, after a long, happy life. All humans faced that fate sooner or later. It wasn’t right for me to cheat all of them by prolonging my own life for selfish reasons. But if I did accept… I would be there with her, during her final moments on this earth. One last time I would be able to comfort her and be her mother. I’d be able to watch her child, my grandchild, grow up and change the world in ways I couldn’t see yet. And then I’d be able to see my grandchild’s child do the same. I’d be able to watch my family grow and strive, until one day we’d arrive at that beautiful future Milan had spoken off. We would be able to reach it together.

Most days, those thoughts were too heavy for me. It was only one decision, but it felt like it was all too much to take in, so most of the time I did my best to distract myself.

10-23-14_12-09 PM

Now that my book was finished and I had achieved my dream, I had a lot of free time to fill. I had never played a lot of video games – my parent’s didn’t own a TV on the houseboat, and I hadn’t bought any for myself either – but once I had tried it it was easy to lose myself and forget the rest of the world. So much so that on more than once occasion I left a little late for work, stunned and shocked to see that I’d be late if I didn’t leave immediately.

10-23-14_12-10 PM

10-23-14_12-10 PM-2

Lilliana still loved her Monkey Bars, and spent a great deal of her free time on them. Some of the moves she pulled had me worried sick for her safety, but she was so flexible and fast that she hardly ever injured herself any more. Her last scraped knee had been a few years back, and she seemed to enjoy the challenge of coming up with new, heart-stopping moves which kept me on my toes.

10-23-14_12-20 PM-2

She also still adored her doll house which Alisha had bought for her. I knew she tried to be one of the cool kids in her year, but when she thought that no one was watching she’d go into her room and play-pretend with her dollies. I was grateful to still have that childish aspect of her and was secretly hoping that she’d never grow out of it.

10-23-14_12-12 PM-2

10-23-14_12-21 PM

Oddly enough, she also liked to help me tidy up. Unprompted. She gladly washed up or took out the rubbish, without needing as much as one word from me. Grateful as I was for the extra help I couldn’t help hut wonder if she was up to something, or if she was trying to make up for something I hadn’t discovered yet.

Thanks to her help I was able to focus more on work, and then one day it was time.

10-23-14_12-22 PM

 

I received my final promotion.

I had officially achieved everything I had worked for since before moving to Oasis Springs.

Now the only choice I still had to make was whether to take that potion Milan had offered or not.

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Note: So this is it! Morrigan has achieved the end of her Aspiration and the top of her career! She is officially finished, and Lilliana will take over 🙂 The next chapter will be 2.1 ^^ They both have five or six days left in my game before their birthdays (if Morrigan ages up 😉 ) so I will do another update between the generations with info on Lilliana 🙂

Disclaimer about sensitive content, please read (some cussing involved)

Hi everyone.

This is about something that’s recently happened on a story of a friend of mine. If you read it yourselves you’ll like know which one I’m talking about. It was immensely beautifully written, and, like the majority of blogs, books, movies, …….,  out there addressed some sensitive subjects. I have done this myself on a number of occasions, for example in the way Cari got pregnant (not wanting to give any spoilers here), but the difference is that for some reason, on her blog, her readers completely blew things out of proportion which led to her feeling the need to take down her blog.

Maybe one of you can explain this to me. If you don’t like something you’re reading, if you feel very strongly against the chosen topic, why on earth would you feel the need to continue reading and comment on every chapter just to say how much you hate it, like someone is holding a gun to your head? What exactly stops you from just leaving the blog and moving on? This is one of the first things I say on every one of my own blogs, but I’ll say it again now since apparently, some people can’t figure this out for themselves: If you don’t like what you’re reading, that’s perfectly fine, but move on. If my blog isn’t for you than I’m okay with that, but there’s absolutely no point whatsoever to you continuously telling me how much you hate what you’re reading. Personally I think if you keep reading regardless than you can’t really hate it as much as you claim, so stop moaning about it.

To be brutally honest, if this is you – if you keep reading something you hate and then tell the author how disgusted you are with it – you are immensely childish and immature and need to grow the fuck up before reading any kind of fiction again. These things are made up. Fictional. Not real. Get over it.

Her readers (and no, not all of them – there was a lot of support for her as well) really completely blew this out of proportion. In their mind, this male character raped this female character (which isn’t what happened at all. they were both more than old enough to make it clear that they didn’t want this – instead, neither said anything, they both stayed quiet about it and for the record – he didn’t want this at all either and was about as uncomfortable with the whole thing as humanly possibly, yet for some reason he’s the one who raped her and apparently it was disgusting. not sure what they were reading but the chapter in question had a different plot) which is about as far from the truth as you can get. The problem here is this new, modern take on feminism which dictates that men are to blame for everything everywhere and that women can’t possibly do anything wrong. (rant about modern feminism over).

So, to make a long story short: If you don’t like it, thank you for giving my story a try. Please leave. No one is forcing you to read something you’re uncomfortable with. If you feel the need to keep reading and commenting anyway, despite finding the content disgusting-

Grow. The Fuck. Up.

~MischiefTheKitten

1.13

10-10-14_6-31 PM-2

The week after Malcolm’s announcement went by very slowly. Milan assured me that I had done the right thing, and Alisha – even though I had told her far from the whole story – comforted me, convinced that I was jealous that he had a new woman. Nothing I told her convinced her otherwise.

On Lilliana’s birthday, only Milan could make it. Alisha had tried to take the day off but her boss hadn’t approved her request, so we had decided to hold another small get-together at the weekend, when she had some time off.

I spent all morning making the most perfect cake I could create with what little cooking knowledge I had, and was very surprised with the result. Proud, I looked down at the cake, thinking that all those years of having cooked for myself must have made me into a more capable cook than I was giving myself credit for.

When it was time, Milan and I went upstairs to Lilliana’s bassinet, who looked more than ready to grow up into a child. I couldn’t help but sniffle a little. Just where had those first few years with her gone? How was my baby growing up already?

10-10-14_6-32 PM

Milan and I sang happy birthday, and watched as my baby was slowly engulfed in sparkles and in a bright light, and both of us gasped when a beautiful young lady stood before us. Her eye colour really had changed after all. She was the perfect mixture of me and Malcolm.

With Milan’s and Alisha’s help we redecorated her bedroom. Alisha, who still felt bad that she hadn’t been able to attend her birthday, bought her a huge doll house, which I insisted was too much but which she insisted was just right. In the end, I gave in. Alisha was her godmother after all.

10-10-14_6-51 PM

And I couldn’t argue with the fact that Lilliana loved to play with it. She didn’t love me watching her play, though, so I often left her to herself while I went into my office to write my book. Now that my baby was old enough to look after herself to some extent, I had begun to write my most important book to date. It was the story of me, in another universe, where I had died only to be brought back in this one for some grand purpose. The book was officially going to be a work of complete fiction, all names and resemblances made up and coincidental, but I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders every time I wrote on it, and I seemed to remember a little more each time, too.

10-10-14_6-56 PM

Lilliana and I were close. Despite my having to work a lot, and her starting school, we made sure to spend a lot of time together whenever possible. I helped her with her homework, and best of all, she loved being read to and adored the early children’s books I had written.

10-10-14_6-57 PM

10-10-14_6-58 PM-2

10-10-14_6-58 PM-3

She had grown into a beautiful young girl, and I found myself dreading her teenage years already. It wasn’t going to be long before the boys started queuing outside our house, and I was in no rush to get to that point.

10-10-14_7-13 PM

My daughter developed a lot of hobbies very quickly. She loved PE, and when she asked me to buy her monkey bars I was happy to oblige. It was good to be active at any age, so how could I say no? If my daughter fancied a healthy lifestyle than I could hardly forbid her that! She spent a lot of time on that thing, so I wasn’t exactly wasting money, either.

10-10-14_7-15 PM

I wasn’t too happy with her interest in boys. She spent more time than I liked chatting to them on the computer, and when I restricted her computer rights to one hour a day (I did need it myself after all) she’d just talk to them on our phone instead. I knew they were all boys from her class, some of them I had met, but I was worried that my baby was growing up too quickly.

10-10-14_7-18 PM

10-10-14_7-18 PM-2

And yet, most evenings, we’d watch TV together. I didn’t mind that they were all kid’s programs, I loved spending time with her and knowing that my little girl was still interested in her mummy, despite all her other interests. Us watching cartoons together reminded me that she was definitely too young for boys, and that she had no interest in them in that way. It also threw me back to when I had been her age, when me and my sister had watched some of the same cartoons, and I marvelled at how some of them were still around after all this time. Even if they were all repeats.

10-10-14_7-11 PM-3

My boss had agreed to change my working hours to match Lilliana’s school schedule. I wasn’t advancing quite as quickly any more, but I wasn’t far off my final promotion and knew that very soon Lilliana would take over the reigns from me.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Note: Morrigan is lvl9 in her writing skill now, and only needs to get to lvl 10 to advance to the final lvl of her lifetime achievement goals. In her career she’s lvl8 but will get promoted next time she goes to work. So far her career (author branch) hasn’t been too tough in terms of promotions. She usually just needs a good mood and to have earned a certain amount of money from books, which is very easy to reach due to the amount being low (it says 0 at first but once it’s ticked it’ll say something around 2500 and she earns over 3000 (or 5000?) a day now, so it’s easy enough) It’s very nearly time to move on to Lilliana!!!

1.12

10-10-14_6-07 PM-2

10-10-14_6-09 PM

Lilliana was my everything. From the moment she had been born, she had been my world. I hated the moments when I had to leave her and continue my work, whether it was in my office at home or in my office in town, but I knew that, as much as I wanted to, it wouldn’t be good for her if I spent too much time with her.

Leaving the house to go to work was the hardest. I knew that the daycare was a good place for her, that she was save there, but I preferred it when Milan or Alisha could look after her instead.

Which they didn’t mind doing at all.

10-10-14_6-04 PM

While Alisha had her own job to get to, Milan didn’t mind dropping his research to come over at any given moment, just to spend time with my daughter. The way he cooed over her you could have thought that he was her father, and I was grateful that my baby would have a father figure around her as she was growing up, even if it wasn’t her actual, biological father. Because I still didn’t know what to do about that.

10-10-14_6-14 PM

During my pregnancy I had thought that once my child was born I’d be able to work on my books again at the speed I was used to, but the truth was that it was even harder in a way. My body wasn’t aching all over, and Lilliana wasn’t a needy baby, but when she wasn’t crying or wanting attention I was worried that something was wrong and would go to check up on her. On top of that, I was trying to figure out what the best thing was to do about Malcolm. He hadn’t called me any more after I had told him that I was stressed with work, but I was actually missing those calls now. I wanted him to be around her, or at the very least I wanted to tell him that he had a daughter, but the constant nagging feeling in my stomach that telling him might somehow make the universe implode was stopping me from calling him.

Until one day, I couldn’t stand it any more. I rang his mobile, hoping that I’d still be brave enough to tell him about her once he was standing on my doorstep. It would be her big birthday in a week, and I wanted to offer him the chance of being there as she became a child.

10-10-14_6-24 PM

Just, things didn’t quite go as I had anticipated.

“Hey, Morrigan.” He knows. I swallowed, hoping that that wasn’t it. No, it couldn’t have been. If he had known that he had a daughter he would have been over sooner, or he would have called me to ask if it was true. He wouldn’t have waited until I called him. He was a good guy and I couldn’t for the life of me imagine him missing out on her life if he knew that she existed.

10-10-14_6-27 PM-2

“Hi Malcolm. Thanks for coming by, there’s something I need to tell you.” With my heart racing in my chest, I prayed that the words would still come out right once I had started speaking them.

“I wanted to tell you something, too.” He seemed visibly nervous.

“You go first” I insisted, hoping that maybe him going first would make this easier somehow.

10-10-14_6-26 PM

“I’m engaged!”

Shell-shocked, I just stared him, trying to fake a smile.

10-10-14_6-25 PM-2

“Engaged? You’re getting married?” I felt my stomach do very uncomfortable flips. This was exactly what Milan had talked about, wasn’t it? That I couldn’t ever, under any circumstances, interfere in his life any more than I had done already? What if he was getting married to someone who would give him a child who would then grow up to lead the world? I couldn’t possibly-

“I know, it’s amazing, right? I met her a month or so after you told me that you were stressed with work and deadlines.” His face studied mine, searching for a reaction but the only one he got wasn’t what he had been looking for. The smile had quickly disappeared from my lips after he had made his announcement. “I’m sorry. I was hoping… I hadn’t heard from you in so long I thought… We were over, right?”

“What? Yes! Yes, it’s fine. I just-” We had never even been together, so technically we couldn’t be over now, either.

I couldn’t tell him about Lilliana now. If I did it could ruin his relationship with his fiancee.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry, it’s just a big announcement, you know?” Quickly, to re-enforce my words, I pulled him into a hug.

10-10-14_6-27 PM

“I’m happy for you. I really am. When’s the wedding?”

“Next summer in Monte Vista. That’s where we’re moving in two months. She grew up there and always wanted to return, so who am I to refuse her, right?” He grinned, looking like a love-sick puppy.

Monte Vista… If I told him about our daughter he wasn’t going to go. I couldn’t do that to him. He looked so happy, and the potential consequences….

I just couldn’t do it.

So I didn’t.

1.11

09-28-14_8-09 PM

I was pregnant. I was having a baby.

It almost seemed too much for me to take in, my head felt like it was swimming most of the time. I was having a baby! Me! A baby!

I hadn’t said anything to Malcolm. I knew I should, but I was too afraid that I would ruin something if I did. To be on the safe side, I stopped calling him and stopped answering his calls. I didn’t listen to his voice mails and deleted his texts as soon as I got them. He came over a few times but I always pretended not to be home. Eventually, to stop him from worrying and jumping to conclusions (the last thing I wanted was for him to figure out that I was pregnant by himself) I gave him a quick call, explaining that work was just really busy and that my agent had set some tight deadlines for my next book, so I didn’t have much time to breath. He told me he understood, and would give me all the time I needed to stay on top of everything.

After that, his calls and unannounced visits stopped.

I felt that it was time for a new look, and went shopping (online, in case I’d run into Malcolm) for some new, more mature looking clothes. I was going to be a mommy soon and I wanted to look the part! Besides, since my birthday I just hadn’t felt like myself any more in my old clothes, so buying some new things helped me feel rejuvenated.

09-28-14_8-38 PM - Copy

Once I had started showing (and they start showing quickly! they look about ready to pop once they’ve entered the first trimester!) I called Milan over to give him the good news. I had been dying to tell him before but now that my belly made it obvious it seemed like the perfect moment to break the news to him.

Milan was ecstatic, and I felt a huge grin on my face as well. I still couldn’t quite believe it yet, but I was excited for this little one and had secretly started reading naming books. There was one in my head already, but I wanted to see what else there was first, before making a definite decision.

09-28-14_8-38 PM-3 - Copy

Just like me, Milan was over the moon. The way he fussed over me and my swollen belly you could have thought that he was the father! He was so proud of the little one already, and I considered involving him in naming the baby. Maybe I could even involve him a little in raising the child? Not all the time, of course, but I had a feeling that he’d adore this little munchkin a lot, and wouldn’t be opposed to the idea.

09-28-14_8-46 PM - Copy

Alisha was just as happy for me, and a little fascinated by all the changes to my body. Even though I was only three months into my pregnancy she was feeling my stomach every chance she got. She really wanted to feel those tiny feet kick!

It was around then that I realised that, even though my baby would have to grow up without a father, he or she would still have a little family gathered around either way. Milan and Alisha were going to be here a lot, and were already volunteering for babysitting duty. I wanted to make sure that my child wouldn’t have to miss a thing – within reason of course – , and seeing their support led me to believe that it was possible.

09-28-14_8-36 PM-2 - Copy

Since my house was too small for me and a child I contacted some contractors and the local building company to have the house extended. We drew up a floor plan quickly, and before I knew it work on the house had started. We weren’t doing anything to the ground floor, but we added a second floor with a small corridor and a nursery, which Alisha and I loved to decorate.

09-28-14_8-42 PM - Copy

We both went out together several times (in a neighbouring village) to buy everything I would need for a successful home birth. We found the perfect bassinet, and decided on yellow as the primary colour. I wanted the gender of my baby to be a surprise, so we wanted to go with something neutral which wasn’t gender specific. Milan surprised me with four adorable pictures which we hung up immediately, and Alisha added the sweetest toy llama to the room.

Before I knew it, everything was ready and set up.

09-28-14_8-54 PM - Copy

The renovations had taken a considerable amount out of my savings, but thanks to my financial safety net which I had been building over the years I was left with enough money to pay the bills. My boss insisted I take time off as I entered the last trimester, but I assured her I was fine to sit at a desk writing articles and working on my novel. She wasn’t convinced, but when I reminded her that I’d be doing the same thing at home anyway she gave in, promising me that she’d drag me home herself together with the security guards at the first sign of complications.

09-28-14_8-54 PM-2 - Copy

The only complication I had, however,  was immense pain. My back wasn’t happy, and try as I might it was very uncomfortable to sit still for longer periods of time. Even short amounts were becoming more and more painful, and despite my promises to my boss I ended up moving around a lot, stretching a little as much as possible.

Over all, everything was going well. I went to the hospital for regular check ups and they assured me that my baby was doing fine, and that I had nothing to worry about. Besides the every-growing aches in my body I was coping well, and was looking forward to the day when I could finally hold my baby in my arms.

09-28-14_8-51 PM - Copy

I was hungry all the time. I wasn’t sure if I was really only eating for two or if there were more in there, but I was constantly standing in front of my oven cooking something. I wanted eggs a lot, and didn’t think I’d ever go off BLT sandwiches. I’d write on my novel until the pain got too much, then move into the kitchen and cook something. Even if it was only a small snack, the movement helped settle the pain a little – as long as I wasn’t standing up for too long. My feet were swollen messes, and it seemed my back was unhappy either way.

09-28-14_8-56 PM - Copy

When I could, I ate sitting down, but sometimes I had to take it with me while I wandered around the house, eating as I went.

09-28-14_9-01 PM

Two months before my due date and I barely got any writing done at all. It just hurt too much to sit at the computer for long enough for it to be worthwhile, and I soon had to accept that my novel wasn’t going to make much progress until after this baby was born.

09-28-14_8-58 PM - Copy

Besides food I craved milk a lot. I couldn’t explain it, like any pregnancy craving, but my doctor assured me that milk was good and healthy and therefore I was allowed to indulge in my cravings as often as I wanted.

09-28-14_9-01 PM-2

One month before my due date and I cleaned the house like there was no tomorrow. I was sure that things hadn’t been this clean when I had first bought them, but the stretching involved in bending down and scrubbing the toilet was pure bliss for my aching body. Cleaning everything became my favourite way to pass the time – until stretching became too painful and I had to sit down for as long as my back allowed it. Milan and Alisha came over often, offering me all the support they could think off, but there was only so much they could do. I didn’t want to take painkillers in case it might hurt my baby somehow, and their massages didn’t help as much as they wanted to think.

09-28-14_9-03 PM-2

I was definitely ready to have this baby. I didn’t sleep well most nights because the pain kept me awake, and I was very eager for this baby to be born a little early. As long as it was healthy I was fine with it.

But my baby wasn’t coming early. My baby was coming nearly half a month late.

09-28-14_9-09 PM-2

When the contractions kicked in I was sitting at my desk, trying to write at least a few words. The pain put everything I had felt up to this point to shame. I called Alisha, but she was at work and couldn’t answer her phone so I left her a voicemail. I called Milan, but his phone was switched off.

I was going to be alone in this home birth. As quickly as a pregnant woman with heavy contractions could I went upstairs, into the nursery. My midwife had prepared me beautifully for this, and had told me everything that I needed to know. I considered calling her so that I wouldn’t have to be alone after all, but I could tell by how close together my contractions were that she wouldn’t have made it in time. This baby wanted out now.

09-28-14_9-09 PM-5

I positioned myself as we had practiced, more than ready for the sparkles and the tingling feeling that came with sim birth to kick in. As I waited doubt filled me again. What if I wasn’t ready after all? What if I wasn’t going to be a good mum? What if my baby wasn’t going to grow up well because he or she had no father? A pain-contorted smile spread on my face as I tried to breath properly. Screw the dad, that bastard was the reason I was going through this now! It was his fault I was in this much pain, his fault I was-

I screamed from the top of my lungs, and then, finally, the sparkles began to engulf me.

09-28-14_9-11 PM

Trying to catch my breath, I looked down into my daughter’s eyes. In that moment I really hoped that Malcolm wasn’t going to come over uninvited any time soon, because I was never going to lie my way out of this one! The resemblance was striking! She had his skin colour, and it looked like she had his brown eyes, too. I knew that it was possible that things like that could still change, but it didn’t really matter.

09-28-14_9-12 PM-2

She was perfect. And she was all mine.

“Welcome home, Lilliana.” I whispered, rocking her gently in my arms until her crying had reduced to a soft whimpering.

Bonus Shots:

09-28-14_8-36 PM-3 - Copy

The renovated house from the back!

09-28-14_9-11 PM-2

And little Lilliana :3

Note: I decided to let the game roll a name for each child at random. Whatever it suggests at first, I’ll go with it! (unless I get a name twice)  I’m hoping it’ll add some variety to my game since I have my firm favourites and tend to use the same names a lot. I just hope the names are better than they were in the sims 3. I was very surprised when the first name the game rolled was Lilliana, since Morrigan’s sister was called Leliana. Coincidence? I think – yeah, probably, but I thought it was a nice sentiment to think that Morrigan named her daughter after her sister while also giving her some individuality by changing the name slightly ^^ 

1.10

09-28-14_7-57 PM

Nearly a whole month had passed already since my birthday. An entire month in which I hadn’t been able to decide what to do. If what Milan had told me was true, and I had no reason to believe that it wasn’t, then it was vital that I had a child. A child, but no relationship. How could I use someone like that? Would he be allowed to see his child grow up? Come to his or her birthdays? Surely that wouldn’t interfere too much with whatever life he might have led without me? I didn’t know for sure that Malcolm had fallen in love with me, but if he did I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I couldn’t stop him from being in love with me, apart from behaving terribly towards him, but it was probably too late for something like this to change his feelings and besides, I liked him. He was a good guy. I didn’t want to mistreat him.

09-28-14_7-57 PM-3

The thought of using a stranger as the father, or possibly go to a sperm bank, had occurred to me, but I liked knowing who the father was. About Malcolm I knew that he was a good man, who tried to do good and who wouldn’t treat someone badly for his own gain. Those were good qualities to have. Qualities which I hoped my own child might develop.

On top of that, no matter how much I hated the idea of using him for this, I was a grown-up now. Milan had placed a heavy burden on me. Without asking, yes, but it was my burden now nonetheless. If what he said was true… No, it was true. I knew it was. How could I consider not having a child if my family was going to be so important in the future? This whole dilemma was just like one of my own plots, just this time it wasn’t a plot. It was me who had to make a decision. I was an adult now. It was time to make an adult decision.

09-28-14_7-59 PM

There was one thing that made my decision a little easier. I was ready to have a baby. I didn’t know for sure whether this was only because of what Milan had said to me, or because I was ready anyway, but the idea of having a baby was a predominant one. It made it hard to focus when I imagined holding a little child in my arms nine months from now. A little baby to raise and protect. Someone to pass my legacy onto. Would he or she love books and writing like me? Would he or she be clumsy like me? Maybe he or she would be my complete opposite?

What if they looked like Mum or Dad? Or my sister? There was a chance, after all!

09-28-14_8-00 PM

One day when the thoughts become particularly loud and working on my latest book had become impossible, I decided it was time. I was ready, and the universe needed this baby!

09-28-14_8-01 PM

 

“Hi Malcolm. … Yeah, I’m fine! How are you? … Great! Would you mind coming over for a bit?” I tried to make it sound alluring, so that he’d rush over. I wasn’t sure I’d still feel as sure about doing this if too much time passed.

Fortunately, Malcolm had heard the tone in my voice, or maybe he just wanted to see me that that badly, and arrived on my doorstep in no time. He said he had been nearby anyway when I had called him so it hadn’t taken him as long as usually.

09-28-14_8-02 PM

 

I figured, why waste time? His kiss told me that he saw no point, either. But then he didn’t know what I was planning. For a moment, I wasn’t quite so convinced any more that this was the right thing to do. Of course it wasn’t, but at the same time it was. Why did the universe have to be so contradictory? What if he found out and wanted to be involved? Milan’s words echoed in my mind, warning me that I couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t move in or abandon whatever else he might have wanted to do.

Sensing my hesitation, Malcolm pulled away to look at me.

09-28-14_8-03 PM

 

“You all right?”

“I… Yes. I’m fine. Would you like to come in?” I did my best to faint a sultry tone, and luckily for me, Malcolm fell for it. He wasn’t stupid, but he did have his oblivious moments.

It didn’t take long to get him into my bed. We weren’t in a relationship, most of the time Malcolm had come over it had been almost solely for sex. I knew that he would have anticipated this when I called him. Somehow I managed to talk him into doing it without condoms for once, telling him that it was fine, that I wanted to feel just him, and that it’d be fine since I was on the pill. Which I was, usually. I had stopped taking it almost a week ago.

09-28-14_8-04 PM-2

 

We cuddled for a little while afterwards. Once Milan had fallen asleep I waited another ten minutes to be sure that he was definitely out, and went into my bathroom where I took a pregnancy test. (they sure do work quickly in this game!! I love this addition, being able to tell right away if your sim is definitely pregnant by peeing on a stick is an awesome little detail and adds a little more realism to the game (besides how soon afterwards you can take it))

I took a second one, and then a third one just to be sure.

The results were clear. I was pregnant.